HAPPY NEW YEAR: Scientists Are Warning That The "Doomsday" Glacier In Antarctica Could Collapse Soon And Then We Are All FUCKED

I woke up this morning and walked the dog like I always do. The only different thing was that it's December and I went out in slippers, a long sleeve T, and sweatpants. No coat needed because it legit warm. The warmest and mildest December on record in my brain. Very anecdotal. Not exactly scientific, but there are scientists out there who are saying we are ALLLLLL FUCKKKKKKEEEDDD as soon as this Thwaites Glacier breaks off Antarctica, drifts into the ocean, melts, and then submerges like every major city on the Coast all over the entire world. Not great. 

Everyone is throwing ideas out there. Like "oh don't burn fossil fuels". Oh "don't fly on private jets". Oh "don't use plastic bottles". Well…everyone continues to ignore my plan for all this water, that would simultaneously turn the Sahara Desert into a lush grassland…the idea is HOLES. 

That is called the Qattara Depression. In short it is a GIANT hole in the ground in Central Egypt. Who the fuck cares? Right? Right. Well at different times throughout the history of the world the Sahara Desert to the West was a vast grassland. The place was littered with all sorts of sweet animals, and trees, and rivers and good shit. For whatever reason the Sahara shifts back and forth between desert and grassland every 41,000 years. Throughout the entire history of modern mankind we've been in the suck era of the Sahara. A land mass bigger than the United States is just completely useless. Given the fact that we've got a shit ton too many people around and nowhere to put them, having the Sahara be usable seems like a good idea. That's where that shitty area above comes into play.

Find places that already exist that are below sea level that nobody is using and fill them up with this excess water from the glaciers. And if that doesn't work, put giant sump pumps at the bottom of the ocean and spray the poles with more water at the top of the glaciers and refreeze the water. Problem solved. Nobody asked me though. Greta Thornberg hasn't screamed about it. The UN hasn't even suggested it. All hands on deck. No dumb idea ignored. Not even my holes idea.